Where would I be if I had taken that road?

The older I get, the more I look at my current interest and what I find myself so enamored with and think back on my life like, “damn, if only I had known I liked that,” “if only I had invested or had someone who believed in this area more, there are so many other places I can imagine I would have been.” I can’t help but feel like in some ways I missed many opportunities to pursue things I enjoyed; like getting a degree in philosophy or French. 

Random, I know. 

But the thing is I’m here. Not there. And I don’t even know if I would like the person that is over there. I know I like the person that is here today and my daughter is proud of me so I really don't want to be anywhere else. Then why am I curious about the road not taken? As if maybe there is something there. 

For the most part, I live my life in a “no regrets” mindset. I believe in living life to the fullest and making sure that when you find yourself at the end of it, you are reflecting with nothing but joy and wild stories. Stories filled with as much life & wisdom as you could have lived. So maybe as I sit and think about it, the pondering of many paths is a projection of all that life could be, and still can be. It is never too late to change paths and I think part of the human experience includes trekking in multiple directions. 

I’m a person who doesn't need a legitimate reason to change course other than my soul GPS: intuition. I kinda go where the wind takes me in a very Gemini-esque fashion and sometimes I question whether I have gone very far at all. But what is the length upon which I am measuring my life paths? And where is this “finish line” that I am destined to progress to? Would pivoting onto a different road get me there any quicker than the current path I’m on? And is it possible to go on multiple paths at one time? 

I find it hard to vision board my career when I really have a million life path options, each of which I would be fine with. They all take me in different directions and sometimes that cripples me in the current place I’m at because it’s like, but where do I go? I could go here, I could go there, I could go in that direction. My hope is that by just picking a lane, I will somehow merge into another lane that I would like to be in. But the thing is, I won't really know.

Right now I feel like I am in a twister game where I have my right hand on the green path, my left hand on the red path, my right foot on the yellow path, and my left foot on the blue path. And somehow I still manage to stay up. I'm choosing to believe where I am now is where I am supposed to be. If I was meant to be somewhere else I would be.  

I am here 

Today and, 

That is enough 

To say I have lived 

Another day in this place 

And if I'm lucky, tomorrow I will be grateful for what has come too.