a letter to my past Self

Little do you know, from your perspective it will appear to get a lot worse, however, from where you will get to where we are Now, I feel I should offer you some wisdom you may be more prone to taking or at last come to understand on your journey to get to where we (you, I) are today. 

You will learn the art of healthy detachment, this will come with you relinquishing control. Much of what you try to control, you don't ACTUALLY want control over; and all that is within your control, you have not mastered or have yet to know that that is where your freedom lies. Don't worry you will surrender and find all that is seeking you. That whole saying, take very little personally, you will come to understand. Ya know, much of what is ours to find or discover, is actually a reacquainting of sorts, I have come to know that our Mother had given us all of the most useful advice in childhood and yet we discarded it [perhaps accidentally] with all we have and will come to unlearn. You will find it again. And you will have a greater appreciation, love, and grace for our mother. She was a flawed woman as you will reveal and love yourself to be. The difference is she was flawed through her containment and perhaps confinement of her wildness, whereas you are flawed because of your freedom you seek and will find in your wildness. Much of the life you live is reincarnated on many fronts. You will get comfortable living in the body of many Spirits. As you will get comfortable being with yourself and these Spirits alone. Much will come with your return to yourself. SLOW DOWN. There is no rush. Stop and smell nature if you must, this is where you will develop gratitude. I wish I could tell you that the advice I am giving you will be understood and applied once spoken; or in this case, written it will not. Life, Spirit, Mother, our Ancestors, have a way of providing you will the information and then providing you many experiences, through yourself and others where this information is learned and practiced. This is the wisdom. You will in no way skip this part. You will also maybe become a little bit more familiar with the flow although I cannot say it gets any more comfortable. And perhaps that too is a lesson. Get [un]comfortable. Because these edges are where you find yourself and all that is seeking you. It’s where the work gets done. Where you see shadows of yourself you may have forgotten. Have grace for this journey [with life] for it is yours alone. There is freedom in that. There is freedom too in learning the sound of your own voice in a room of your own making. All of these freedoms and more are yours to find. However not without the mastery of failure / the practice of learning. You will learn a lot, you will find joy in this and I can tell you who we are today, you will absolutely LOVE. And yet the work will still continue. And so too will the rest. I want to say choosing yourself will get easier, and you will also have to walk away from much you may have desired. More aligned things are coming of more magnificent abundance. You are exactly where you need to be. Whether you heed my words or not, I will see you when you get here.