Growing is an act of Mourning

At the big age of 27, I stand in front of my mirror sobbing my eyes out because growing pains are REAL! You would think that I was mourning a death and in some ways I was. I was mourning the part of myself I had grown out of. Particularly the part of myself that wore a lot of booty shorts. Something in my Spirit said we are elevating and therefore we must look the part of that which we are growing into. For some reason, this pain invoked a sort of cry I didn't know needed to be released. One that wasn’t rooted in sadness but in hopefulness. Then it hit me, growth is an act of mourning. That which no longer serves us, that which we have grown out of (thoughts, habits, even appearances of our former self) all of that shedding is bound to bring about discomfort in the wake of emptiness. Even if fulfillment is right around the corner. 

Prior to or simultaneously with stepping into what awaits the other side of growth, we have to be real that not everything we have acquired in the cycle or seasons previous,  we can take into this new season of growth. That can be an uncomfortable and daunting belief; letting go of what we have grown comfortable carrying. Recognizing that this is a hard thing to do is normal if not necessary. Leaving space for us to mourn what cannot come whether that be ideas, thoughts, people, and former selves; it can be found that more welcoming energy can be excavated through this process. Usher it in, this experience is essentially the act of grace through the growth. What may have served you at one point may not serve you during others. I think about the seasons of fall to winter. Mother Nature understands that the leaves that allowed you to flourish and make full in Spring and Summer may be the very things you must allow the fall from the tree as you move through the hibernation of winter before welcoming the new cycle of the Spring season. Fall is the understanding that things must go and Winter is the period of mourning as we prepare for the New Harvest. 

While I understand the importance of Fall as a season of recognizing what must go; I would like to place an aperture around the season of Winter as a period of mourning and how it precedes and could be considered the pre-work to the work of abundance that is inevitable. After you recognize what cannot come forth on the journey of unknown opportunity, there is a lot between that and letting it go. Largely within that process is the act of mourning. In the mourning there are some key components I feel will help one move through this space with grace. Recognizing what the “baggage” is attached to and the experiences it was cultivated under is part of being able to let it go. Take that trip down memory lane while in the same breath observing how far you have come and how this “thing” cannot come. Cry if you must. You may find that you must. Imagination is a great tool for some alleviation and hope through the mourning. Think about all you will gain that will be more in alignment with you are growing into. Hope is the lighthouse of despair. Allow that lighthouse the guide you through the months of Winter that pave the way to the field of Spring. As beings within the universe it isn’t too far fetched to grasp that we are influenced of that which is around and within us. Gratitude is the ticket to any place of abundance or favor. Remain in this space as you mourn and emotionally release. Show gratitude for it being in your life; whether that be in a space of love, protection, or comfort. Show gratitude for the space that is being created for you to gain ten times more than what you are “losing.” 

Mourning is an act of presence as much as an act of versatility. If you haven’t understood by now that the only constant is change, now would be a great time to find comfort in this fact. Growth is a question of how flexible are you? What are you willing to let go of in order to gain all that you desire for yourself. How aware are you of where you are on your journey? All of these answers are illuminated in Fall and tested in Winter. Through the mourning period, there may be some becomings in your being that happen which aligns you with what is to come. If one avoids the mourning process they are thus not in alignment and cannot sustain what is coming. Hence your baggage being your very downfall to success. Something my cross country coach taught me about running long distances, keep your hands open. You cannot receive from a close fist, which is what most of us do when we run. It’s a lot easier to use the wind as a form of agility when are hands are open and ready to adjust at any curve on our path. By having our hands open and baggage-free, we more easily accept the abundant mysteries of life that seek to bring us desire and not hoard that which only [now] brings us despair. 

As much as growth is spotlighted as an ebb in the flow of getting older and ascending, we must be honest about the required act of mourning that must be honored for any growth to be sustained. Without effectively mourning what we must release we leave cracked, the door to its return. Building the foundation of our higher self requires a constant reevaluation of the windows and doors and ultimately the foundation to the palace of a person we aspire to be. We cannot be afraid to remove the structures that are no longer sturdy, that may have weathered over time. Be open to bringing in a wrecking ball if a total overhaul of identity is necessary. Before we build or expand we can stand in the rubble and make memory; appreciating the free space we now have.